Stop Absorbing, Start Choosing:

5 Real Life Ways to Reclaim Your Energy Around Others

Ever walk away from a conversation and feel physically heavier, like your shoulders are carrying something that wasn’t there an hour ago? If so, that’s not just emotional fatigue. That’s an energy leak.

And if you’ve ever been the “go-to person,” the one other’s call when they need to offload or get reassurance, then you know exactly what I mean. Sometimes you can feel like you are left holding everyone’s stuff… and yours gets pushed to the back burner.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t have to carry what’s not yours.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn as a coach, a leader, a mum, and a human is this...

Caring doesn’t mean carrying!

You can love someone without absorbing their energy.

You can listen without losing yourself in their emotions.

You can be available without being responsible for managing their mood.

I remember one week not long ago when everything felt heavy. Not because my own world was falling apart, but because I had unintentionally taken on the energy of others. From friends to family, to a client in a crisis and my kids each needing something different from me emotionally, I was absorbing it all like a sponge.

By Thursday night, I was done. My energy was low and… I was reactive. My motivation dipped. I sat in my desk and realised I was firefighting, but not for myself for others. And... that wasn’t sustainable.

So, I made a quiet but powerful decision:

to stop absorbing and start choosing.

Choosing what I let in.

Choosing who I gave my emotional presence to.

And most importantly, choosing how I showed up for myself first, so I could show up for those closest to me in a way that wasn’t depleting.

And here’s a deeper truth I learned along the way:

some people don’t actually want a solution.

They offload their drama, dump their emotional weight, and go back to doing the same thing again next week. They’re not bad people, but they’re not looking to shift, either. So, if you recognise those individuals in your life, you need to shift what you do to avoid your energy being depleted.

So how do you actually do this in real life?

Here are 5 high performance strategies to reclaim your energy without guilt:

1. Learn to listen without leaking

You can be present for someone without carrying their emotional weight.

Try phrases like:

• Do you want to change the outcome of this situation?

• That sounds really tough. What do you think the next step might be?

2. Pause before absorbing

When someone walks into your space with heightened emotion, take a breath and ground yourself before responding. Visualise yourself in a separate bubble to them, a bubble that protects your energy. It might sound simple, but this visual boundary is powerful, and it helps your nervous system differentiate between their emotion and your response.

3. Check your internal permission slip

Ask yourself:

Am I choosing to be here emotionally right now, or am I defaulting out of habit? Often, we absorb others because we were raised or conditioned to be the nice one, or the fixer, or the peacekeeper. But leadership and life requires discernment. You can still be kind without becoming the emotional container for everyone else.

4. Give yourself regular energy resets

You don’t always need a two week retreat to reclaim your energy. Sometimes it’s as simple as:

• A 10-minute walk without your phone

• A five-minute brain dump to release what’s not yours

• Stepping into a room, closing the door and taking some slow breaths before heading back out

5. Remember: alignment over obligation

This one is big. If you’re saying yes out of guilt, fear, or expectation, it’s a no in disguise. And every misaligned yes chips away at your confidence and clarity. Reclaiming your energy means choosing alignment over approval.

Remember you can support, but you don’t have to solve.

You can love someone, and not lose yourself in their drama.

Because protecting your energy isn’t about building walls. It’s about creating filters.

It’s about asking: Is this mine to hold? before you even pick it up.

When you reclaim your energy, everything shifts. Your clarity improves. Your creativity increases. You feel less reactive and more anchored. And you start showing up in your work, your relationships and your life from a place of calm power not survival mode.

So, if you’ve been feeling flat, heavy, or scattered lately, it’s not because you’re lazy or unmotivated.

It’s probably because you’re overloaded with stuff that was never meant to be yours in the first place.

Live a successful, purposeful and fully charged life everyday!

Your coach,

Bel

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