As a mum of four, I understand the unique challenges of feeling pulled in a million directions every single day. I’m sure you can relate... constantly juggling the needs of your kids, your partner, your career and everything else that demands your time and energy. The weight of being the one everyone relies on can feel like a quiet, constant presence.

You’re the organiser, the emotional anchor, the one who remembers every birthday, every school event and every grocery item... until you don't. You’re the planner, the protector, the one who anticipates everyone’s needs. But often what happens is that while we are taking care of everyone else, we lose ourselves along the way.

The problem isn’t that you care for others. The problem is when you start to disappear in the process.

The Weight of Responsibility

As parents, we’re expected to wear so many hats so it’s natural to fall into the trap of putting everyone else’s needs first. But what happens when your identity becomes defined by everyone else’s needs and not your own?

This happens more often than you think, especially for mothers. When we take on too much, it’s easy to lose sight of who we are outside of our roles as parents. We become so focused on the doing... cooking, cleaning, planning, organising, driving, helping with homework that we forget to check in with ourselves.

We forget to ask, What do I need right now?

High Performance as a Parent: It’s Not About Doing More

High performance as a parent isn’t about doing more. It’s about staying connected to who you are while caring for others. It’s about setting healthy boundaries that allow you to nurture your own needs, passions and identity, while still showing up as a parent.

You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You are allowed to take time for yourself, to prioritise your own well-being, and to say “no” when it’s necessary.

Being a good parent does not mean sacrificing everything for the sake of others. You are allowed to take care of yourself. In fact, it’s essential for your own health and the health of your family. When you take care of yourself, you show up better for your kids, your partner and everyone else in your life.

Honouring Yourself as a Parent starts by realising that your identity doesn’t disappear just because you became a parent. Your needs, your passions, your sense of self matter. In fact, they must matter. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself... it’s necessary. As someone once said to me - It's Functional Selfishness!

This is where clarity and intention come in.

Ask yourself:

Where do I need to honour myself more, not less, in this season of life?

Is it taking 10 minutes each day to centre yourself before the chaos begins?

Is it setting boundaries around your time so you can pursue something that brings you joy or purpose outside of your role as a parent?

Is it asking for help when you need it, even if it’s uncomfortable?

Taking Action

Parenting is hard. But it doesn’t have to mean losing yourself in the process. You can be an incredible parent while still staying true to who you are. It’s about balance, self-awareness and prioritising both your needs and your family’s.

I know it’s not easy. But the first step is acknowledging that your needs matter too. When you give yourself permission to care for yourself, you’ll find you have more energy, patience and love to give not just to your kids, but to yourself as well.

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Live a successful, purposeful and fully charged life everyday!

Your coach,

Bel

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